Growing Up Is Not In Spike's Book
by Semper13
Summary: Spike is interested in Angel's little black book. Boredom insues and a phonecall to every person Angel knows leaves Wolfram and Hart w/ angry people. Short story. Fun!


Spike was sitting in Angel's office at Wolfram and Hart, waiting for him to come. **'Where the hell is the bloody poof?!'** Spike thought. He wanted to pull a prank on Angel and he was waiting on his arrival in order for him to do it. He put glue all over the cushion of Angel's chair so that he would get stuck on it.

He tapped his fingers on the desk and looked around Angel's drawers. There was nothing, but papers in there and then he saw it. A little black notebook.

Spike turned it over and "accidentally" flipped through it. All it had were phone numbers. Spike scoffed and threw the notebook on the desk and headed out. Then he heard Harmony's voice and shivered.

He took a peak out the door and saw her talking to Gunn. "Have you seen my Blondie Bear?" She asked.

Gun shrugged. "No, I haven't seen him. Do you think he's with Angel?" Gunn suggested. Harmony laughed.

"No. Angel would go to hell and back before he would hang out with my Blondie Bear." Harmony giggled and Gunn stood somber.

"Harmony, Angel **did **go to hell and back." Gunn said. Spike rolled his eyes. **'How did I **

**get stuck with her?!'**

"Oh. Then I don't know. I guess he went out." Harmony walked away and Gunn went on with his day.

Spike decided to stay put in Angel's office. It was less likely where he was and so now, Harmony won't have to bug him. He went back to the desk and saw the little black book again. He cocked an eyebrow and turned the page.

The first number was of some company. Spike picked up the phone and dialed the phone number.

"_Hello, this is Martin speaking from"_ so-and-so_ "How may I help you, sir?"_

Spike seen how people prank called on T.V., so he decided to do it. "Um, yes, Hello. I'm, uh, looking for somebody."

"_Who are you looking for, sir?"_

"Um, I'm looking for a first name, _Iwanna, _last name, _Tinkle_ _._" Spike said, trying not to laugh.

"_Okay, sir, please hold."_

Seconds later, the man answered again, sounding very angry. Spike laughed so hard, he didn't even listen to what he was saying.

"Hehehe! This is fun!" Spike giggled and hung up the phone.

He then called another person or company and kept it going. There was a phone number without a name which he called and a woman answered. **'Ooh! Angel's got game! Bastard.'**

"Hello, love." Spike answered formally.

"_Hello. Who is this?"_

"Whoever you want me to be, love."

"_Who is this?!" _She sounded annoyed.

Spike smiled. "I'm in the house, baby. Come and find me. Oh, and I'm not wearing any underwear." Spike almost laughed out loud, but kept it in.

"…_Look if you're another prank caller, I swear, I'm going to find you and shove a pineapple up your ass. I have collar ID and believe me that I WILL do it!"_

"Oh-ho-ho! Are you now?! And what would **you **like me to shove up **your **ass, love?" Spike said with a smirk on his face.

"……_Spike?"_

Spike's eyes grew big and quickly hung up the phone. **'Holy shit! How the hell did Angel get Buffy's phone number?!'**

Spike decided that he had enough playing 'pervert prank caller', so he put the notebook back in the drawer and was about to leave. Just then, a tired Angel came into the office.

"Spike! What the hell are you doing in my office?!" Angel sneered.

"Relax, old man. I was just here to, uh, to, uh…." Spike thought about it. "To see how you were doing."

Angel crossed his arms over his chest and frowned. "Spike, hell would freeze over three times before you come just to see how I was doing."

Spike shrugged his shoulders and walked toward the door. Angel went to his desk and was about to sit down, but then he flipped the cushion over and sat down. "Nice try, Spike. I'm not falling for that one again. It's getting old."

Spike stomped his foot. "Damn! How did you know?"

"I can smell the glue." Angel said casually.

Just when Spike was about to head out, he stopped and asked, "Angel, what's collar ID?"

Angel looked up at his grandchilde and Spike could've sworn that he saw him smile a bit. "You're joking, right?"

"Nope. What is it?" Spike asked.

"It's a mechanical device of the phone that lets the person know who's calling, from where the caller is calling from, and the phone number of the caller. Why?" Angel answered.

Spike's eyes grew bigger than watermelons. Angel looked at Spike with the look of "Oh, no you didn't".

"Spike! What did you do?!" Angel snarled.

Harmony walked in with a worried look on her face. "Angel! You got a lot of pissed off callers on the phone! I can't stall them any longer! Angel, they're REALLY pissed off. They keep saying that some guy called and started saying weird, nasty stuff." Harmony looked at Spike and smiled. "Oh, hi Spike!"

Angel stood up and was ready to launch at Spike. Spike grabbed the door handle and said, "I didn't do it!" and ran out.

And so on, the story of Angel chasing Spike all over Wolfram and Hart became a story that was passed on by many of the workers.

**A/N: Well, I was bored, so here. I love both Spike and Angel and I don't want to disgrace any of them. Just having a little fun. I got the idea from listening to Blink182's "What's My Age Again?" when it says, "What the hell is collar ID?" Enjoy. I got to go, I think I see Buffy coming in with a pineapple!**


End file.
